I know it all.
I was deciding which eatery would get my lunch business when I received another call that was quite aggravating. He started out with a tone of professionalism and sincerity:
"Hi there. I wanted to get an idea of what your charge for your services. How much do you charge per hour?"
Well, I have a polished schspiel just for such an occasion. "My hourly fee is $60 but on my initial visit, the first half-hour is free. However, I offer a number of services that are tailored to fit most of the tasks asked of me on a regular basis. For example, I offer a complete computer clean-up which involves the scan and removal of all virus, worms, spyware, adware, etc. It includes the installation of all of the latest Windows updates, three free anti-virus and anti-spyware application and optimization of the computer. I do all of that for $99."
Well, obviously he was not too impressed, because he knows all of us are cheats and take advantage of our customers. "Ya, what does it take to scan for viruses, 20 minutes? I can do that."
So, I get my hackles up a little bit while I am thinking about how many scans I actually do to eradicate all of the malware on any given customers computer. If I sat at their house to do it, I would rack up about three hours! Maybe I would rather do that and get $180 instead of just $99. But I bite my lip and continue to listen.
"How about laptops? Do you sell laptops?"
"No, but I can help you get a good price on one. I am an authorized Dell VAR and that is the brand I recommend." I could tell he was anxious to say something else, so I stopped.
"Like how much do you think I can get one for?"
"Probably anywhere from $600 to $1000, depending on what you want. It is the best bargain around, and you are avoiding the middle man."
"Ah, come on! I can go over to Sam's club and pick up a laptop for about $400. Why would I want to spend all that on a Dell? Well, see, my daughter has a laptop and it is slow and has so many problems it is useable. How much will you charge to fix it?"
$400 at Sam's club? What is this guy smoking? No one on planet earth sells laptops (useful, quality laptops) for $400! Maybe if he meets someone in a dark ally somewhere near Sam's club and buys it out of the back of an old Chevy van. "I will have to come by and take a look at it. Remember, the initial half hour is free. But if it is filled up with viruses and spyware, and you want to take advantage of my Full System Clean-up service, as I said it will be $99."
"You want me to pay that much for a quicky scan of the computer?"
"Well sir, then I suggest you run your 20 minute scan on her computer yourself, and it that doesn't work, then go to Sam's club and pick up that $400 laptop to replace it." That is what I wish I had said... what I really said is "Well, sir, I don't think we can do any business together. Thanks for your call."
"Hi there. I wanted to get an idea of what your charge for your services. How much do you charge per hour?"
Well, I have a polished schspiel just for such an occasion. "My hourly fee is $60 but on my initial visit, the first half-hour is free. However, I offer a number of services that are tailored to fit most of the tasks asked of me on a regular basis. For example, I offer a complete computer clean-up which involves the scan and removal of all virus, worms, spyware, adware, etc. It includes the installation of all of the latest Windows updates, three free anti-virus and anti-spyware application and optimization of the computer. I do all of that for $99."
Well, obviously he was not too impressed, because he knows all of us are cheats and take advantage of our customers. "Ya, what does it take to scan for viruses, 20 minutes? I can do that."
So, I get my hackles up a little bit while I am thinking about how many scans I actually do to eradicate all of the malware on any given customers computer. If I sat at their house to do it, I would rack up about three hours! Maybe I would rather do that and get $180 instead of just $99. But I bite my lip and continue to listen.
"How about laptops? Do you sell laptops?"
"No, but I can help you get a good price on one. I am an authorized Dell VAR and that is the brand I recommend." I could tell he was anxious to say something else, so I stopped.
"Like how much do you think I can get one for?"
"Probably anywhere from $600 to $1000, depending on what you want. It is the best bargain around, and you are avoiding the middle man."
"Ah, come on! I can go over to Sam's club and pick up a laptop for about $400. Why would I want to spend all that on a Dell? Well, see, my daughter has a laptop and it is slow and has so many problems it is useable. How much will you charge to fix it?"
$400 at Sam's club? What is this guy smoking? No one on planet earth sells laptops (useful, quality laptops) for $400! Maybe if he meets someone in a dark ally somewhere near Sam's club and buys it out of the back of an old Chevy van. "I will have to come by and take a look at it. Remember, the initial half hour is free. But if it is filled up with viruses and spyware, and you want to take advantage of my Full System Clean-up service, as I said it will be $99."
"You want me to pay that much for a quicky scan of the computer?"
"Well sir, then I suggest you run your 20 minute scan on her computer yourself, and it that doesn't work, then go to Sam's club and pick up that $400 laptop to replace it." That is what I wish I had said... what I really said is "Well, sir, I don't think we can do any business together. Thanks for your call."
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